Keeping the Flame Alive:

"A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, and adopting new viewpoints." 

- Wilfred Peterson

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

"Tickets, please!" shouts the guard at the gate entrance.  "Everybody keep to the left". Jack fumbles around and foolishly pats at his pockets knowing damn well that he doesn't have a ticket. He doesn't even have money to buy a ticket. But he wants to be on the other side of the barrier. He needs to be at that concert. After such a hellish week, Jack justified that he even deserved it. He craves the kicks, to feel alive. He pictures himself standing next to the stage. The lights flashing in his eyes as the music washes over him lifting his sorrow spirit to breathtaking heights. He feels the emotion and chaos as bodies crash into each other in a sweaty mosh of ecstasy and bliss.

Determined to be at the dance party that rages on a mere 50 meters before him, Jack makes up his mind. He wants in and will be there at all costs. Hopeful, he weighs the options that would replace an entry ticket. Then, Jack sees it. A crack in the fence. It's close enough to the entrance to be slightly hidden by the sea of people that surrounded. He can do it but he needs a distraction. Just then - as if the rebel gods were on his side - the opportunity comes.

The ticket master turned for a moment to speak to a patron. Or was it to chastise a fellow trespasser? Jack didn't bother waiting to find out and made his move. He feels a hot jolt run through his entire body as he wedges one foot and knee through the crevice in the fence. He was almost there! Was he spotted? Jack stifles his doubts and fear of the crime. He could hear the excitement rising through his veins. His heart beats in synch with the tempo of the bass-pumping techno blasting from the speakers and he feels the raw nerves in the pit of his belly. A brief wave of sweat washes over Jack's body as he slips his hips through the gate. He's in. He can hardly contain himself. "Keep it cool, Jack. Don't look back - just keep moving," he mutters anxiously to himself as he strolls animatedly down the lawn towards the stage. A mixture between a laugh and a whimper escapes from Jack's throat. He knows he will prevail. Moving as if he has every right to be there, Jack's stroll turns into a brisk, yet, awkward jog as he bolts down the grassy hill and races towards the dancing crowd. "Yeaaaaaaa!" Jack bellows in triumph at the top if his lungs. He had made it.

Jack spent the rest of the night socializing, shamelessly dancing, and horsing around. The music, human connection, and new territory was just what he needed. After a terribly hectic week of mind-numbing work, Jack was worried he would split at the seams from the pressure. Like a childhood delinquent searching for the thrill of living on the edge, Jack needed a release. And that's just what he got.

Jack searches for something meaningful in life because he is unenthused. The 'rat race' and daily grind of mundanity had left him feeling high and dry and he just wanted to break the vicious cycle of stagnancy and feel exhilarated again. Jack's life had become habitual and it lacked the vivacity he needs to thrive. He needed to feel ALIVE.

The truth is, we all need to feel alive. We need excitement, something to rev our engines! But if we do the same things - in the same way - every day, our lives will lack… well …LIFE! The human experience is dynamic, progressive, and ever-changing so there is a constant need to keep up. We must keep things fresh or we will wither away, die, and scatter with the wind.

Jazz things up! Keep your work captivating, your education insightful, your travels inspiring. Maintain an arousing love-life and keep your friendships surprising. Step outside of your creative comfort zone and try something new, something avant-garde to trigger novel thoughts and feelings. Innovate in all areas and challenge your personal status-quo. Advance in life!

If we fall into mundane routine even the most beautiful things in life will turn into a dull bore. It may sound cliche but take a different route to work or volunteer yourself for new responsibilities, shock your muscles with a new and challenging exercise or delve into new territory in your spiritual journey. 

If you think and act in terms of change new opportunities will arise. You WILL experience something new. How different our lives will be is determined by how far we go to into foreign territory. Perhaps, Jack's resolution was reckless and irresponsible but if life is empty it will somehow be filled with something - whether in the form of struggle, revolution, or opportunity - to keep us on our toes...

We have all been given the spark of life. It is now our responsibility to kindle it into a flame. Feed your fire with the appropriate fuel and it will warm and illuminate the way along any path you choose.

Keep the flame alive - keep life interesting!

"The less routine the more life." 

- Amos Bronson Alcott

Inspirational SLAM POETRY:

"Life's like a road that you travel on

When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind"

- Tom Cochrane, LIFE IS A HIGHWAY

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

We are all cars and the open road is our journey in life

Through the laughter and tears, the sweat and strife

Just know: It's your car, your rules

So don't listen to those fear-mongering fools

who misguide  

The backseat drivers who tell you to slow down 

Who suffocate your rising flame to keep you in the "right lane"

They just want to help but does anyone really know you?

Does anybody really know what you need?

A driver's manual can keep your automobile in tip-top shape

But it will not tell you where to go, which turn to take

Drive somewhere new. Take the scenic route.

Go far! 

It's your car...

  

YOU drive YOU thrive

And if it gets dark? Turn on your headlights

If it turns black? Switch on your brights.  

Change the radio station and turn it way up. 

Ride the music, feel the sensation 

But you must not sit idle, get in the groove

Find your support, get off your ass, and move

So long as there's traction under your tires they will carry you where you choose

You're responsible for your happiness, to get out of the gloom

But like burning rubber on hot asphalt, You may have to ZOOM...

Find excitement! Feel your engine roar with life

Hear it purr like a prowling leopard 

Let it loose. Throw open the cage with all your might

Drive Dammit Drive!

Feel the thrill of your movement. The rubber on the road. 

Roll down the windows and let the wind blow through your hair

Maybe you'll jolt at the honk of a horn. Should you care?

They want your attention. We all want attention.

Fate? Hate? Maybe it's just bottled up aggression...

  

More important than petrol are the people that surround you

Like fuel for your car, they will drive you 

But you can go forward or backward.

It's your trip, What would you do?

If you keep looking in the rear-view mirror you'll miss what's in front of you    

So think forward. Write your own map. Get a clue.

Create your own destiny, Make your own decision!

DRIVE! 

Or be driven... 

CODEPENDENCY: Collaboration Vs. Dependency

"Tell me how am I supposed to live without you 

Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone"

- Michael Bolton, How Am I Supposed to Live Without You


Irritated, Jack storms out of the café allowing the double doors to rattle as he hurries past puzzled onlookers. Earphones blaring, he shoves a cigarette into his mouth and bolts down to the street corner to hail a cab. “Dammit,” Jack grits his teeth as the second yellow cab drives past, ignoring his outstretched hand. He walks further out into the street foolishly expecting a driver to somehow sense his urgency.

Suddenly, an unmarked white van screeches to a halt in front of Jack. The side door slides open as three masked-men jump out and charge him. One man forces a beige burlap sack over Jack's head whilst the others clasp his hands behind his back. Jack's cigarette falls from his fingertips letting out an audible hiss as it lands into a puddle by the curb. Struggling under their grip, Jack kicks his feet up to the door-frame in a pathetic attempt to avoid abduction. But with one final lunge, the sinister men shove Jack feet-first into the empty, seatless van. He felt a deep burn as his back skidded on the vehicle's crusted carpet. Unable to stop the momentum, Jack's right knee crashes into the van's inner steel frame just as the doors slam shut.

Having taken a heavy blow, Jack grunts as he slumps on the ground letting his left ear rest on the itchy carpet. The burlap sack slides slightly off his head providing a brief window where Jack can see the tread of numerous pairs of steel-toed boots. He looks up and unintentionally catches the eye of his kidnapper who quickly scrambles to produce a large stun-gun. The blue streaks of 900,000 volts of electricity are all Jack remembered before everything went black.

Before his eyes could fully open, Jack is forced onto his feet and heaved headfirst out of the van. A three gallon water-tank follows, hitting his back with such force that it nails his torso into the sand. Jack wheezed as he hastened to his knees. The door slams shut and the engine roars to life as the van speeds off, leaving a trail of dust at Jack's feet.....

Picture for a moment that you are Jack and you suddenly find yourself in a barren desert with only a water jug and the clothing on your back. How would you survive? Would you be able to fend for yourself? Would you be able to do it alone? 

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Codependency is the unhealthy psychological reliance of one person on another. In broader terms, it is the expectation to be motivated exclusively by extraneous factors.

Codependents are not self-sufficient because they rely on environments, substances, and other people to influence their lives. They allow external forces to dictate how they feel about themselves. They lack the wherewithal to actualize positive emotions, or cope with negative ones, by themselves. 

In reality, fuel for codependents is everywhere. It can be in their morning coffee or in their pill-cabinet; in the workout room or the bedroom. Codependency can hide under the guise of charity and counsel. It can manifest itself through the quest for validation or the reliance on other peoples' and complements and kind words. Some codependents will even flirt for fun in a pathetic attempt to feel empowered. Albeit an illusion, these seductive swindlers yearn to fill in the multiple holes of their self-image by feeling important and desired.

With the removal of these habits and techniques, codependents may break down. Perhaps they cannot be alone with their own thoughts or live with the insecurities that require outside assistance.

While healthy practices - such as trust, friendship, and advice - do exist, we must establish a strong foundation for ourselves and by ourselves. The tools, programs, and people around us are meant to assist, enhance, and cultivate our already unified personalities not “make our lives”. To rely on other people, places, or things to drive us - or worse - make us feel whole, safe, and happy is codependency and will not last. Once those things are gone, everything that we have worked on - under false security - will disappear.

Jack never made it out of the desert. He died not of malnutrition or the sting of a scorpion, but insanity. Unable to cope without his music, cigarettes, and girlfriend (with whom he argued with at the café), Jack felt powerless. He was empty, alone, and incompetent. He was nothing.

Take responsibility of your own emotions and don't rely on others for your stability and well-being. Establish a firm foundation for yourself so you can generate those feelings naturally and carry them with you wherever you go.

For the Opinionated, Non-Conformist:

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

There is a certain comfort in not caring. It's so easy to brush things off with an “EH”. It's so easy to nonchalantly let life and its issues pass by and not even check the rear-view mirror. It's too easy.

For decades, I fought a dreaded battle against lethargy. Like a fat, complacent cat not wanting to be roused from its slumber, I was apathetical; unmoved by the multitude of personalities, ideas, global issues, and injustices that surrounded me. In short, I didn't give a shit about anything.

I shied away from it all. Perhaps it was fear of making the leap from the objective to the subjective or simply a depressive indifference I faced. But I knew I wanted to be sophisticated and outspoken to voice my opinion and individuality. Stifling my inner-voice meant being trampled by those who piped up the loudest or influenced by those who spoke boldly and with confidence and conviction.

We live in societies separated by political and religious affiliation but I always doubted that everyone miraculously fell into one category or another. So many people couldn't possibly agree on one thing. I didn't want to feel pressured. I hated feeling obligated to walk down the avenues of RIGHT or LEFT or conform and join a team in the political arena. And I absolutely abhorred dogma. Isn't the world big enough to house new ideas?

But conformity is a recurrent theme in the blueprint of nature. For example, the molecules in water droplets pool together in what is known as cohesion: 

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Some vines and other vegetation weave themselves through other plants in an attempt to gain more light and secure survival:

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Fire, musical synchronization, clouds, even the “slow-clap” are all examples of forces that will eventually find order, symmetry, and harmony.

So too, regarding human nature, many choose to conform to conventional ways of thinking and succumb to the force of gravity that pulls us downward when we try and ascend to new heights of intellectual freedom.

When you break nature – the inertia of the status quo - you create a new reality and are the narrator of a novelty. YES, the world IS big enough to house new ideas! But If we don't express our opinions - or at least voice an excerpt from our stream of consciousness - we can feel insignificant and miss an opportunity to gain wisdom by bouncing ideas off one another. If we conform to “the norm” we can disregard, or worse, suppress our individuality.

Granted, unity is important but if it is an excuse to not think for oneself – to be lethargic and not have an opinion – it is useless.

Opinions come from interpretation which is the result of our individual life experiences. To voice a thought or idea is the epitome of creating from uniqueness. It is our brain-child that should be loved and cultivated to maturity. One day, it can even be an influential game-changer in universal ideology, thus continuing the saga of progressive thought in our dynamic human existence.

Don't settle for second best. Think for yourself and stick out from the rest.

*****SELECTED SPARKS*****

25 Sparks of Inspiration for Today and Everyday:

1) You are already GREAT. You are only getting GREATER.

2) Opposition is inevitable. If not internally, it will come externally.

3) Be wary of what you take seriously. It can either be your greatest success or your biggest failure.

4) Chances are, you already know what needs to be done.

5) Anxiety is neutral. It can either drive you to success or insanity.

6) Life is a series of sensations.

7) In life, you should give twice as much as you take - except for knowledge.

8) Sometimes, it just takes some time.

9) Don't be ashamed of your childhood conditioning - learn from it.

10) Everything is perfect. The Universe may just be realigning you into harmony.

11) Never be afraid to learn from a child. Their honesty and simplicity is invaluable.

12) Know when to say NO.

13) Don't take anything personally. 

14) Take everything in stride. And don't be afraid to yield. 

15) Don't focus on first impressions. Look for lasting impressions.

16) No drug can produce a greater feeling than love and hard work. Ironically, they are one and the same.

17) Turn your desires into goals and keep your goals on your mind at all times.

18) Don't make assumptions. Communicate.

19) Never miss an opportunity as lame as it may be. 

20) First THINK. Then think POSITIVE.

21) Emotions are our greatest resource. 

22) Live as if all your dreams have already come true.

23) Work with the tools you have picked up in life and build something for yourself.

24) If you think in terms of change, new opportunities will arise.

25) We are all given the gift of time. What will you do with yours?

Have a great day! :D

Knowing When to Say NO:

"A 'NO' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'YES' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
-Mahatma Gandhi 

We all know those people. The ones who are so kind to others that they neglect their own needs. The agreeable ones who passively shy away from opinions, not wanting to dance on anyone's toes.The sycophantic, brown-nosing, "doormats" whose kindness is mistaken for weakness and is frequently taken advantage of. The ones who are sweet enough to say yes but not strong enough to say no.

In a perverse way it seems admirable. Kindness makes the world go 'round and the gift of giving is a lofty and noble trait worthy of praise and applause. But if left unchecked, seemingly positive actions can actually be detrimental and irresponsible. Maybe even too nice, these do-gooders can quickly slip into resentfulness if they don't find a balance.  

The truth is we all have an internal world. We live with our own thoughts, desires, responsibilities, and troubles. Therefore, we are responsible for ourselves and our wellbeing. Our own priorities come first. It would be foolish, for example, to try and give counsel to others if you have not yet achieved mental health or for a country to give large sums of foreign aid if their own citizens need assistance.       

Narcissistic or egocentric? Negative. It's called self-advocacy. We need to be assertive and forthcoming because - the harsh reality is - in real life, other people may not be as generous and helping as we are to them. While it may have negative connotations, a self-advocate knows that in today's cutthroat and highly competitive world every individual needs to look after themselves and take life into their own hands. When put into perspective, this individualistic approach is healthy and responsible and highlights how special kindness and generosity truly are.  

It's so easy to love a stranger. But If you really want to love humanity, first love YOURSELF. Then find it in your heart to love your family, friends, classmates, co-workers, community members, and so on. First love, clean-up, care for, and fix your internal world before you set out on the journey to save the planet. Focus on yourself, then pan out to others.

The knowledge is elementary but in practice it may be challenging, especially when emotions are involved. For caregivers, philanthropists, teachers, parents, friends, lovers, and countless others, the idea of unbalanced giving and generosity can be horrific. Codependency can be maddening and caving to the pressure of theatric cries and pleading can be embarrassing and frustrating. While everything is relative, trusting your instincts and confidently making a judgement call can help you properly provide for those in need and subsequently save your sanity. As the Chinese proverb goes: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." 

One of the niceties of being nice is knowing when and how to exercise kindness. When generosity, sycophancy, and submissiveness become routine it can lead to a lifestyle of pressure, expectations, and codependency.

A YES MAN, IF UNABLE TO SAY NO, IS NOT A FREE MAN. Don't fall into a trap. Find an equilibrium and GIVE it all you got.

"The oldest and shortest words - 'yes' and 'no' - are those which require the most thought."
-Pythagoras 

Sharing in the Joy of Others:

"Rastaman vibration, yeah! (Positive!)
That's what we got to give...
Positive vibration, yeah! (Positive!)
Got to have a good vibe!"

-Bob Marley, 'Positive Vibration' 

There is a woman that I work with, I'll call her Lisa, who is a supercharged human being. Like the Energizer Bunny, she is indefatigably bouncing around and is almost always bright as the sun. Lisa is an intense individual and is always on the move to do something. It's actually quite funny to see her in action.   

When I first met Lisa I was taken aback. I am too proud to admit that I was intimidated by her but I remember thinking “Whoa, this lady is intense!” You can either hop on board one of her projects or get out of the way because she will run you over like a freight train.

I was also more reserved when I originally met Lisa. It was my first day and I was in foreign territory and a bit nervous of my new responsibilities. But that soon changed after a brief (VERY FAST) dialogue with her. Facing her was like electric-shock therapy and her ambitious eyes burned like an angry sun. But after the small-talk I felt different. Jolted, I soon became more energetic, confident, and solution oriented.

How did this happen?

In my opinion, one of the most fascinating aspects of the human being is that we all have an electromagnetic frequency that we emit 24 hours a day.  This vibration (or "vibe" if you're really hip) can be positive or negative, strong or weak - even coherent or otherwise - but never neutral. Life is  dynamic and constantly in motion. Rarely is anything static, especially when it pertains to the body and mind. We literally radiate energy on a consistent basis. Depending on the receptivity or social prowess of those around us, our own frequency can be picked up on by others. In the case of my conversation with Lisa, her electromagnetic field and my receptivity, influenced me for the better. 

(This is not psychic or spiritual phenomenon - it's science. Where New-Age and pseudoscientific thought come in is the belief that that our vibrations and frequencies directly affect the things around us. That our thoughts and intentions will influence the tone of our writing, flavor of our cooking, or outcome of our exercise. That our attitudes will play a role in how we are received by others and countless other aspects of our lives. Or that OUR atmospheres are directly correlated to the the actual atmosphere or that we really are ONE atmosphere. Whether or not you believe in that is your prerogative :D )

Influence and receptivity are the two key words. There is so much out there that we can be influenced by. Music, lights, the media, the weather, the general "mood", and numerous other people, places, and things can all have tremendous clout and these factors can really affect how we feel, think, speak, and act. By opening our minds to the vibrations, frequencies, and atmospheres around us, we can experience an immeasurable amount of happiness, triumph, excitement, love, bliss, and peace. 

Sound too good to be true? 

Picture for a moment what would happen if, one early Summer afternoon, you walked down the street of a High School. You hear cheering, applause, and chatter from inside and you realize that they are in the midst of a graduation ceremony. Would that make you smile or reflect on your own achievement? If not, continue walking down the street. You see a cute couple holding hands and laughing in the distance. As they pass you, in their own bubble of love, they both catch your eye and adoringly smile back as you walk by. Would you feel happy for them and wish them the best?

Or even a casual scenario that you stumble upon such as the one below:

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography 

Would you stop and add to the music, fun, and good vibes?

The answer could be no. Perhaps you have feelings of jealousy or maybe High School wasn't as fun for you as others, or perhaps you just aren't thinking along those lines. But it is an opportunity to share in the joy of others. These are simply triggers, a potential springboard to fresh thought or fond memory that you can indulge in. Other events and triggers - if you let them in - can offer positivity, optimism, hope, or faith if you have the proper attitude. They can even change your day!

The opposite is also true. Have you ever been in public and watched a parent chastise and physically discipline a child? Seen somebody cry? Listened to a talk-show-host go on a rant about public policy? These can all inhibit strong venomous emotions and feelings and if not properly regulated, can cause unnecessary harm to ourselves. 

Part of what makes us all unique is our ability to accept or reject these charges into our lives. We must be aware and differentiate when to filter out these influences and when to embrace their power. It is through this balance that we become true masters of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

Pick the right charge. Have a good vibe. :D

"Find someone who's turning

And you will come around"

-Neil Young, 'Don't Let it Bring You Down'

A New Year for Unity and Action:

“Inaction is cowardice… I do not see how any man can afford, for the sake of his nerves and his nap, to spare any action in which he can partake.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

And what a glorious New Years it was. As I stood with my friends, in the crowded streets of NYC, and as close to Times Square as humanly possible, I took it all in. The pretty lights and people, the fireworks, the excitement and anticipation for the new year. It was electric. The street corners were littered with law enforcement officers but to no avail. A potent odor of alcohol and marijuana smoke hung in the air and in an atmosphere not uncommon to NYC, the roads became lawless and licentious. Party hats in tow, hundreds of thousands of people flocked to the streets to celebrate the completion of yet another prosperous year and start of a new cycle.

Then, in the midst of it all, it struck me. Why all the hype? I hope to not sound like a buzz-kill but New Years is simply symbolic. We may flip the calendar to a new page but many of us still have tremendous responsibilities. We wake up and eat and work and study. There are planes to catch and bills to pay and diapers to change and papers to write. For many of us, our daily lives and their routines remained unaltered.

So what changes? Enter: The New Year’s resolution.

Resolutions for changes in our lives can be implemented and part of what makes New Years so grand is our ability to view the day as a new beginning; a fresh start and springboard into a better lifestyle.

Many people may have personal resolutions but I believe that that there is one thing that we can all universally strive for as a whole. Something that we cannot achieve ALONE, nor with our own determination and drive.

UNITY. To be united – not divided. To participate and not be alone. To find strength in numbers and grow as a group. To be a team player.

Joining a commUNITY, of any type, is an excellent opportUNITY to GET INVOLVED. Whether socializing with friends and family, joinng a team or club, brainstorming with co-workers, study partners, or boardmembers, active participation is the outlet that can bring out the best of our capabilities and actualize our talents. It gives us an opportUNITY to express our interests and get our voices heard. It puts us on the map – so to speak – and keeps us on our toes. It keeps us active, alert, and responsible while enabling us to achieve the human connection that we naturally strive for.

I believe there is a common misconception that by joining a commUNITY, unit, or board we compromise our individuality.  

In fact, it promotes our individuality. We can contribute our fresh output and creativity - through thought, speech, and deed – that directly defines the many facets of and intricate aspects of our personalities.

Ironically, what truly impedes the expression of our individuality is hiding it from the world. Much like what would happen if one were to plant a tree in a flower pot – if we isolate – we limit ourselves and our worth to the confines of our caves.

It is so much easier to sleep in, or keep quiet, or not move but it is selfish acts like keeping our abilities locked away in our comfort zones that prevent us from thriving on both personal and communal levels.

Fear, an inescapable illusion, is bred by ignorance and laziness and is many times self-imposed. Any attempt at more extroverted activity will naturally cause more opportunities to arise and greatly enhance the quality and quantity of our lives. The secret of living is not only giving, but sacrificing the self and cremating the comfort found in laziness and lethargy. We thrive through breaking the barriers that bind us to our beds. The more we disassociate ourselves from the law of gravity – which prevents us from raising to new heights – the merrier our lives become.

Sometimes, you just need an excuse to turn over a new leaf. That excuse can be this New Year but more importantly everyday you wake up in the morning. In reality, we can make a resolution everyday. Everyday is a new shot; another New Years so to speak. HAPPY NEW YEAR? NO. HAPPY NEW DAY!!

It’s a new year

A new month

A new week

A new day

A new hour

A new minute

A new second

A new moment

A new life

So get out of bed and get involved.

How 12-21-2012 Could Change Our Lives:

12-21-2012. This date has been on peoples’ minds recently and has naturally been getting much media exposure. The day is the reported last day of the ancient Mayan calendar and in combination with other Mayan beliefs, has led many to believe that something tremendous will affect us all. This cryptic day of ones and twos has led an innumerable amount of people around the world to believe that a series of transformative events – whether apocalyptic or Utopian – will occur in the form of celestial transitions, theological revelations, or a change in universal consciousness. Whatever the case may be, many are hopeful that something drastic will happen and it will undoubtedly be an exciting day.

I refuse to debunk it as a myth because, quiet frankly, anyone who claims to know what will or will not happen on a future date is arrogant and disillusioned. Uncertainty is a universal phenomenon and like many things in life, our future needs to just play out and requires patience. But there is overwhelming evidence that would lead one to think that this is just another pipe-dream that fuels the fires of hype and fright throughout the world.

I’m sure we all remember the Y2K scare in 2000 but that is just a drop of water in the ocean of end-of-days predictions and date setters. (I was originally going to write some examples but it became too exhaustive.) In short, there are over 250 historically documented doomsday dates, false messiahs and second comings, raptures, and miscalculations.

This outrageous number is embarrassing and it highlights how so many have grossly taken advantage of the natural human desire for liberation and connection. But many really believed their convictions. When they allowed their entire lives to revolve around one date – only to see it pass without monumental changes – they committed suicide or lost their sense of life’s purpose and direction. Much like what happens when you violently shake a snow-globe that has been untouched; their confident and settled beliefs soon turned chaotic and wreaked havoc on their minds.

     

Why are we so addicted to this phenomenon? It literally blows my mind and I can’t wrap my head around it.

     

Surely this is a universal infatuation. From the search for extra-terrestrial life on other planets, paranormal activity, and doomsday prophesies to conspiracy theories, espionage, and beautiful blood-sucking vampires that thrive at twilight, nothing gives life a surge of excitement quite like mystery, mysticism, folk-lore and the unknown. Could this just be another part of the trill of it all?

Perhaps, subconsciously, many of us want a revolution in our lives. Some drastic event that would change our daily routines, break down the barriers of human interaction and connection, and pave the way for something new. Something that would shake our realities and send humankind on a thrilling new tract.

      

Either way, I think 12-21-2012 and new years can be a great opportunity for us all. Like any day, it can be a bigger turning point in our lives than we could ever imagine.

    

Maybe we just need an opportunity to forgive or apologize or reconnect with a friend or family-member. Perhaps we need an excuse to be honest, ask questions, break fear, and take a stand. Maybe we need a reason to try something new, break a bad habit, or start that new exercise regimen. It could be that we’re waiting for the right moment to tell that special someone how we REALLY feel about them.

In that case, make today, the 21^st, or New Years THAT day. If you knew you were going to die soon what would you want to say or do? It’s the biggest motivation. Also, a New Years resolution is a perfect opportunity to start something new or finally get it done. So, take a healthy risk! It will change the course of your life and pave the way for new and exciting moments that have never been experienced before.

Sometimes, you just need an excuse.

And who knows, maybe our lives really will change on 12-21-2012… ;D

Hi, I'm Human: We're All in This Together

There is a longstanding philosophical dialogue about how we identify with ourselves and who we are. Most times, if you meet someone new they will tell you their name, profession, and where they are from. 

It's no wonder that many people identify themselves this way. This small talk gives others a glimpse into our lives -where we are coming from and where we are going - without divulging too much personal information. While some believe it is an ethical imperative to not solely identify people by what they do for a living, the aforementioned practices are an accepted form of social etiquette. 

But there is a fine line between formalities and fallacies. 

My experiences in the professional world have shown me that many people are living a facade. Yes, we all fake it at times and many of us are damn good actors. Sometimes, we have to be. But I think that some people need a reminder that we are all human. 

I was recently assigned an article for the magazine I write for that will be featured in an upcoming issue on influential women in the workforce. The article is a profile on a woman who works for a government organization called FEMA which has recently merged with the United States Department of Homeland Security. As I did some research to write the paper, I found myself rolling my eyes at some of the past professional positions she held: 

Applicant Services Manager for the Maryland National Processing Service Center

Disaster Assistance Employee for the Department of the Interior’s South Florida Ecosystem Restoration Task Force

Special Assistant to the Acting Deputy Director of the Inter-Agency National Disaster Housing Task Force 

“What does that even mean??” I asked myself rhetorically. 

After further research, I saw it all as a thought-out game. It was as if they are playing one big performance – like on Broadway - with acting and formalities. Characters that have funny names and hide behind masks and big words. It’s one big behemoth amount of business-like bull5#!7. 

Yes, I do understand the need for professionalism and intellectual formalities, and I mean no disrespect to the government agencies that provide for the people, but I try to find a balance so I don't get stuck playing "the game". 

We are emotional creatures. Show some life! Unfortunately, we live in a society where many people suppress there emotions because they think emotions are a sign of weakness. This is false and if used properly, our emotions can single-handedly be the greatest tool we can work with in our lives. 

Personally, I don’t think that we can afford to be too haughty. Many of the commodities that we enjoy in society are relatively new: the gadgets, the fashion, the media revolution, even basic liberties and forms of civility. Not too long ago women and blacks didn't have equal rights and in many places throughout the world they still don't. The terrors of the holocaust and other wars and genocides throughout the world can still be felt today and in parts of the world atrocious, barbaric, and simply unfair acts take place on a daily basis. The fact that I can type this up on a subway, sharing a train with women, Asians, Moslems, blacks, Europeans and countless others is nothing short of miraculous. 

I’m not minimizing our growth as a people but our history should put things into perspective.

 

Aside from the newfound glory we experience from our technological treasures and other freedoms, there are universal bonds that connect us all.

Many of us have experienced our fair share of teenage angst, love and loss, struggle and internal battle, pain and sensation, joy and laughter, self-doubt, and hard work. Uncertainty and the inability to predict the future is a universal phenomenon. Strangers can share a laugh. It’s part of the human experience – which we share. We all make mistakes. We are all somebody’s child. We have a heart in our chests! Why so serious? LIGHTEN UP.

There are 7 billion people in the world, yet we cannot even agree on how we all got here. Sure we may have managed to find work, meaning, love, and fun but we were all thrown into existence, many times having to figure it out by ourselves. Rarely do we stop and think that we are moving 1000 mph on earth (trip on that!) and that it comes full circle every 24 hours. We are small. Don't get-ego death but it is true.

As my good friend so eloquently put it:

"Everybody poops." 

So don't hesitate to let your guard down and truly connect with the people around you. We may have a lot more in common than you think.

Surely, we are all unique. But the people who truly understand their worth and are confident with who they REALLY are, don’t spend their energy playing pretend.

We are all part of the human race. Ideally, we can all find equilibrium and know when to put up our proverbial fences and when to let our guard down. How to not be too open and never be too closed. When to be professional and when to have personality.

Many thinkers have pleaded for the use of empathy and emotional intelligence in our interactions. These useful tools can strengthen ties that bind us together as emotional beings and pave the way for closer human connections that we all crave. 

We are all human. We are all growing. We are all in this thing together.

What are you thinking about?

The mind can be a very tricky thing. At times it can be funny - other times it’s no laughing matter. On a personal note, I know that I need to take a balanced approach when dealing with my thoughts. Whether trusting my instincts, entertaining memories, or analyzing my stream of consciousness, I’ve found that, at times, I need to yield and not take my thoughts too seriously.

To a certain degree, if many of us placed our minds under a microscope - judging them according to medical textbooks – we’d end up in the loony bin:

Having trouble concentrating? You must have ADD

Feeling down? Clinical depression

Changes in mood? Bipolar disorder

Have a change of attitude? Schizophrenia

Dark thoughts?  Psychopath

Don’t care? Sociopath

Like things orderly? OCD

You may also have anger management issues, social phobias, substance abuse issues, and autism… If you inspect your mind for flaws you will find what you are looking for. Obviously, for most people, this is foolishness. We may have extraneous thoughts and emotions but we’re not crazy! (Okay, mental illnesses do exist in some people but only a diagnosis from a licensed professional can determine that.)

From a psychological standpoint, it is not always wise to suppress one’s thoughts or muffle their "inner voice". I have learned from personal experience that if you constantly try to shut off your mind you will one day be successful. This can be a terrifying experience! When you finally want your identity back you will find that it's not so easy to start the motor again and this can lead to dire consequences that will be manifested in your personal, social, and work life.

Our minds can be both our best friend and worst enemy. There are so many factors that can affect our thought-processes and sometimes we may feel that our thoughts just aren’t ours. However, if we want to enjoy the benefits of positivity, clarity, understanding, creativity, depth, and social finesse, we must learn to cope with the negativity, fear, doubt, low self-esteem, and occasional fog we all experience from time to time.

But is it safe to turn down our thoughts or at least ignore them?

An influential mentor of mine once told me that on some days he's so plagued by negative thoughts that he has a "no thinking day". Obviously, he doesn't just shut down because as a father, teacher, and international self-help guru he has responsibilities. But when he knows what needs to be done, yet is faced with his own venomous thoughts, he puts his mind on the back burner and focuses on action.

"Sometimes, you need to stop thinking and just do it. Once you entertain negative thoughts you can lose confidence, increase doubt, and even convince yourself not to do what you know needs to be done," he said. “DON’T THINK - JUST DO.”

The opposite is also true. Sometimes, in life, I know exactly what needs to be said or done but I’m faced with a combination of fear and lethargy (the two go hand in hand.) In a way, laziness is the worst trait to have. It’s a curse because I may KNOW exactly what needs to be done but laziness will prevent me from doing so.

This is the phenomenon of opposition. Many times, if it doesn’t come from outside influences it will come from within. But when you need to act, you may just have to ignore the resistance. Many people have the ability to do many great things – it just requires work. At times, you just need to do what you need to do regardless of how you feel, what your fear is telling you, or what others say.

And remember:

When the mind says go and the body says no just remember who's in charge!

Sometimes, Life Hurts:

As I write this, I’m sitting in a small café by the bay in New York City. After the subway got stuck in a tunnel and sat idle for over 20 minutes, I got off and ran to the bus-stop where I intended to travel back home for the weekend. When I frantically reached the platform, huffing and puffing and with fire in my eyes, the ticket manager could barely look me in the face as he told me I had missed the bus by only a few minutes.

There is an old saying “when life gives you lemons - make lemonade”. I’ll be honest; I didn’t think that at the time. I petitioned for a new slogan “when life gives you lemons, squeeze them in the eye of the closest person next to you”. I was a bit bummed by the unavoidable blunder but I soon focused on maintaining a mature mindset. So I set out to make use of the plentiful free time I found myself with.  Thankfully, I can catch the next departing bus in only a couple of hours and for only a small fee.

As I settled in and collected myself, I had an insight. I think you can relate:

Sometimes, it hurts.

It hurts when you miss your bus

It hurts when you run in the wrong direction

It hurts when you get your hopes up only to have them shot down

It hurts when you get laughed at or ridiculed

It hurts when you don’t say or do something because you’re afraid

It hurts when you hurt others

It hurts when people don’t return your calls or emails

It hurts when you fail, slip up, or make a mistake

It hurts when there’s too much work to be done

It hurts when you can’t practice what you preach

It hurts when you’re late for something important

It hurts when you love someone who doesn’t care much for you

It hurts when you feel like a stranger

It hurts when you get chastised or yelled at

It hurts when you need to do something you don’t want to

It hurts when you lose control

It hurts when people don’t appreciate your hard work

It hurts when you care for somebody more than they care for themselves

It hurts when people just don’t get it

It hurts when you try to do something nice but it crumbles to the ground

It hurts when you get abused, cheated, or lied to

It hurts when you’re stuck

It hurts when you’re out of luck

It hurts when you forget to duck

It hurts when you just don’t give a

Sometimes, life hurts.

But it’s worth it to BE positive when things don’t work out because, quite frankly, the alternative can really suck and make the situation a lot worse. Focus on a positive solution and never lose HOPE. Make one more effort and don’t give in. It's a thoughtful and proactive decision, deserving of recognition and applause.

Although, sometimes, there is nothing that can be done and you must helplessly watch as things transpire before your eyes. Incompetence can be a terrible feeling but take the hit. Face it boldly and keep on truckin’. You will get through it and there are good times around the bend.

Pain is temporary – it will pass.

Sometimes, it just takes some time.