On Abstinence and Effort:

Warriors, Old and New
Toledo, Spain
Photo Credit: 
A. Massey Productions

Caked sweat, blisters, jock-itch, opened veins with blood pooling onto the hot desert sand…

Face paint, nostrils filled with gun smoke, explosives, heat stroke, lots of yelling, hospital waiting rooms, dance parties across the street from hospital waiting rooms, more explosives…

Press interviews, photo-ops, miles upon miles of marching, pain, fatigue, tears, and even more explosives…

These are just some of the things I endured during my last week of advanced combat training in the military. It was intense to say the least. But then it was all over. After a lengthy graduation ceremony with pomp and circumstance, led by a rather boorish army Major, we were sent home for a weekend of rest, recovery and recuperation.

Immediately upon returning to my apartment I dipped my cracked and calloused feet into a hot soapy bath. Armed with a large glass of Scotch I tried to reflect on the week’s pass while allowing the instrumental Jazz music that played from the speakers in the other room to soothe my aggressive spirit. I had done it, finished what I had set out to accomplish. It was grueling but I persisted and even through my exhaustion, flames of honor burned in my chest. I was damn proud of myself.

Yet, I was also heartbroken. My latest occupation had nearly killed one of my greatest loves: writing. Because of the demands and urgency of the military I had little to no time to write. Even when I found the time to put pen to paper all my work seemed like shit. Nothing flowed like it should and the words failed to excite. It was almost as if nothing stimulated me anymore.

Suddenly, right then and there, I got it! In the midst of my brooding I was smacked in the face by Mother Inspiration herself. Scotch still in hand, I bolted barefooted out of the bathroom and stumbled into the bedroom to find my ever-ready pen and pad. After close to a half a year of writer’s block I had finally found a cure. The cure, coincidentally, was found in it’s own symptoms: Vice, pleasure, debauchery, excitement, and inspiration.

All is for pleasure or the absence of pain. Sounds hedonistic, I know, but even religious folks who fantasize about their afterlife when they die are expecting a heavy dose of the world’s favorite pastime: feeling great!

Thanks to once-booming economies and a technological revolution, many vices and devices these days are quicker, stronger and easier to acquire. The buildup of waiting for something exciting is a thing of the past. This is, in theory, a fantastic phenomenon. It has led to increased pleasure, quicker feelings, more sophisticated sensations.

Except when we become desensitized to it all — then we feel dead.

Connectivity is stimulating and in today’s new age we are overstimulated. Furthermore, things like fame, validation, success and attention — feats that once took lifetimes to achieve — can be accessed with a single upload. Up until the Gulf War a soldier had to wait up to weeks to receive a letter from loved ones. Now, thanks to instant messaging, communications are streamlined even overseas. Modern thinkers blame Globalization and the media for bringing various “EXCITING” issues traditionally scattered around the world — such as war, crime, poverty and natural disaster — into the everyday living rooms via TV and internet. Ironically, it is possible these days to feel the horror of a murder, tsunami, rape, or coup d’etat that took place halfway across the globe even before you get to work.

But as we are pumped with heavier doses of strong sensations, from things like lightning-fast connectivity and hyper-consumption of now affordable luxuries, our dependency as well as capacity for pleasure grows. This can have long term consequences. One in particular, aside from desensitization, is the lack of triumph usually felt after working hard to achieve something.

In a way this is how narcotics effect the psyche. When ingested, strong drugs pique the pleasure plateau to shockingly high levels in a fraction of the time normally needed to achieve those results naturally. For example, if, in one day, you ran a marathon, volunteered at a food bank, planted a tree, cleaned your room and saved a panda you would undoubtably reach a lofty level of self-worth. All that hard and fulfilling work would leave you feeling encouraged, happy, proud and overall pleased with yourself. Unlike the pixie dust that some indulge in, those pleasures took hard effort to attain. It will last and be available even longer through memory and tangible proofs. You won’t just pee it out after a painfully long withdrawal process.

If the military has taught me anything it’s to appreciate the small things as well as things I had previously taken for granted. With all luxuries limited as of late, I have a new appreciation for everyday gifts like hot showers, tasty food, human connection, entertainment and even freedom.

Surprisingly, the army’s limitation of all these things has transformed me not only into a reflexive warrior but, in many ways, a happier person. When I have that free time I’m more conscious of it. Every tune is magic. Every kind pair of eyes is adored. Every uninterrupted night’s sleep with my boots off is a miracle and, of course, time in general is better utilized.

Boredom is not a fun state of mind. But even with increased stimuli and options we can still feel empty. I know I can. The idea is to pace yourself. Have something to look forward to. Limit yourself and let desire develop. Savor the flavor and enjoy the chase. Fight for lasting pleasures and take your time enjoying them.

DISTANCE CAN BE GOOD.

MODERATION CAN BE BENEFICIAL.

SELF-CONTROL CAN BE WORTHWHILE.

After much time (unwillingly) abstaining from hot baths, groovy music and anything remotely close to Scotch I was finally able to properly enjoy myself. What followed resulted not only in renewed excitements but the restoration of the even greater pleasure of creativity. And with that, I got more than I bargained for.

Keeping the Flame Alive:

"A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, and adopting new viewpoints." 

- Wilfred Peterson

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

"Tickets, please!" shouts the guard at the gate entrance.  "Everybody keep to the left". Jack fumbles around and foolishly pats at his pockets knowing damn well that he doesn't have a ticket. He doesn't even have money to buy a ticket. But he wants to be on the other side of the barrier. He needs to be at that concert. After such a hellish week, Jack justified that he even deserved it. He craves the kicks, to feel alive. He pictures himself standing next to the stage. The lights flashing in his eyes as the music washes over him lifting his sorrow spirit to breathtaking heights. He feels the emotion and chaos as bodies crash into each other in a sweaty mosh of ecstasy and bliss.

Determined to be at the dance party that rages on a mere 50 meters before him, Jack makes up his mind. He wants in and will be there at all costs. Hopeful, he weighs the options that would replace an entry ticket. Then, Jack sees it. A crack in the fence. It's close enough to the entrance to be slightly hidden by the sea of people that surrounded. He can do it but he needs a distraction. Just then - as if the rebel gods were on his side - the opportunity comes.

The ticket master turned for a moment to speak to a patron. Or was it to chastise a fellow trespasser? Jack didn't bother waiting to find out and made his move. He feels a hot jolt run through his entire body as he wedges one foot and knee through the crevice in the fence. He was almost there! Was he spotted? Jack stifles his doubts and fear of the crime. He could hear the excitement rising through his veins. His heart beats in synch with the tempo of the bass-pumping techno blasting from the speakers and he feels the raw nerves in the pit of his belly. A brief wave of sweat washes over Jack's body as he slips his hips through the gate. He's in. He can hardly contain himself. "Keep it cool, Jack. Don't look back - just keep moving," he mutters anxiously to himself as he strolls animatedly down the lawn towards the stage. A mixture between a laugh and a whimper escapes from Jack's throat. He knows he will prevail. Moving as if he has every right to be there, Jack's stroll turns into a brisk, yet, awkward jog as he bolts down the grassy hill and races towards the dancing crowd. "Yeaaaaaaa!" Jack bellows in triumph at the top if his lungs. He had made it.

Jack spent the rest of the night socializing, shamelessly dancing, and horsing around. The music, human connection, and new territory was just what he needed. After a terribly hectic week of mind-numbing work, Jack was worried he would split at the seams from the pressure. Like a childhood delinquent searching for the thrill of living on the edge, Jack needed a release. And that's just what he got.

Jack searches for something meaningful in life because he is unenthused. The 'rat race' and daily grind of mundanity had left him feeling high and dry and he just wanted to break the vicious cycle of stagnancy and feel exhilarated again. Jack's life had become habitual and it lacked the vivacity he needs to thrive. He needed to feel ALIVE.

The truth is, we all need to feel alive. We need excitement, something to rev our engines! But if we do the same things - in the same way - every day, our lives will lack… well …LIFE! The human experience is dynamic, progressive, and ever-changing so there is a constant need to keep up. We must keep things fresh or we will wither away, die, and scatter with the wind.

Jazz things up! Keep your work captivating, your education insightful, your travels inspiring. Maintain an arousing love-life and keep your friendships surprising. Step outside of your creative comfort zone and try something new, something avant-garde to trigger novel thoughts and feelings. Innovate in all areas and challenge your personal status-quo. Advance in life!

If we fall into mundane routine even the most beautiful things in life will turn into a dull bore. It may sound cliche but take a different route to work or volunteer yourself for new responsibilities, shock your muscles with a new and challenging exercise or delve into new territory in your spiritual journey. 

If you think and act in terms of change new opportunities will arise. You WILL experience something new. How different our lives will be is determined by how far we go to into foreign territory. Perhaps, Jack's resolution was reckless and irresponsible but if life is empty it will somehow be filled with something - whether in the form of struggle, revolution, or opportunity - to keep us on our toes...

We have all been given the spark of life. It is now our responsibility to kindle it into a flame. Feed your fire with the appropriate fuel and it will warm and illuminate the way along any path you choose.

Keep the flame alive - keep life interesting!

"The less routine the more life." 

- Amos Bronson Alcott

Inspirational SLAM POETRY:

"Life's like a road that you travel on

When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind"

- Tom Cochrane, LIFE IS A HIGHWAY

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

We are all cars and the open road is our journey in life

Through the laughter and tears, the sweat and strife

Just know: It's your car, your rules

So don't listen to those fear-mongering fools

who misguide  

The backseat drivers who tell you to slow down 

Who suffocate your rising flame to keep you in the "right lane"

They just want to help but does anyone really know you?

Does anybody really know what you need?

A driver's manual can keep your automobile in tip-top shape

But it will not tell you where to go, which turn to take

Drive somewhere new. Take the scenic route.

Go far! 

It's your car...

  

YOU drive YOU thrive

And if it gets dark? Turn on your headlights

If it turns black? Switch on your brights.  

Change the radio station and turn it way up. 

Ride the music, feel the sensation 

But you must not sit idle, get in the groove

Find your support, get off your ass, and move

So long as there's traction under your tires they will carry you where you choose

You're responsible for your happiness, to get out of the gloom

But like burning rubber on hot asphalt, You may have to ZOOM...

Find excitement! Feel your engine roar with life

Hear it purr like a prowling leopard 

Let it loose. Throw open the cage with all your might

Drive Dammit Drive!

Feel the thrill of your movement. The rubber on the road. 

Roll down the windows and let the wind blow through your hair

Maybe you'll jolt at the honk of a horn. Should you care?

They want your attention. We all want attention.

Fate? Hate? Maybe it's just bottled up aggression...

  

More important than petrol are the people that surround you

Like fuel for your car, they will drive you 

But you can go forward or backward.

It's your trip, What would you do?

If you keep looking in the rear-view mirror you'll miss what's in front of you    

So think forward. Write your own map. Get a clue.

Create your own destiny, Make your own decision!

DRIVE! 

Or be driven... 

CODEPENDENCY: Collaboration Vs. Dependency

"Tell me how am I supposed to live without you 

Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone"

- Michael Bolton, How Am I Supposed to Live Without You


Irritated, Jack storms out of the café allowing the double doors to rattle as he hurries past puzzled onlookers. Earphones blaring, he shoves a cigarette into his mouth and bolts down to the street corner to hail a cab. “Dammit,” Jack grits his teeth as the second yellow cab drives past, ignoring his outstretched hand. He walks further out into the street foolishly expecting a driver to somehow sense his urgency.

Suddenly, an unmarked white van screeches to a halt in front of Jack. The side door slides open as three masked-men jump out and charge him. One man forces a beige burlap sack over Jack's head whilst the others clasp his hands behind his back. Jack's cigarette falls from his fingertips letting out an audible hiss as it lands into a puddle by the curb. Struggling under their grip, Jack kicks his feet up to the door-frame in a pathetic attempt to avoid abduction. But with one final lunge, the sinister men shove Jack feet-first into the empty, seatless van. He felt a deep burn as his back skidded on the vehicle's crusted carpet. Unable to stop the momentum, Jack's right knee crashes into the van's inner steel frame just as the doors slam shut.

Having taken a heavy blow, Jack grunts as he slumps on the ground letting his left ear rest on the itchy carpet. The burlap sack slides slightly off his head providing a brief window where Jack can see the tread of numerous pairs of steel-toed boots. He looks up and unintentionally catches the eye of his kidnapper who quickly scrambles to produce a large stun-gun. The blue streaks of 900,000 volts of electricity are all Jack remembered before everything went black.

Before his eyes could fully open, Jack is forced onto his feet and heaved headfirst out of the van. A three gallon water-tank follows, hitting his back with such force that it nails his torso into the sand. Jack wheezed as he hastened to his knees. The door slams shut and the engine roars to life as the van speeds off, leaving a trail of dust at Jack's feet.....

Picture for a moment that you are Jack and you suddenly find yourself in a barren desert with only a water jug and the clothing on your back. How would you survive? Would you be able to fend for yourself? Would you be able to do it alone? 

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Codependency is the unhealthy psychological reliance of one person on another. In broader terms, it is the expectation to be motivated exclusively by extraneous factors.

Codependents are not self-sufficient because they rely on environments, substances, and other people to influence their lives. They allow external forces to dictate how they feel about themselves. They lack the wherewithal to actualize positive emotions, or cope with negative ones, by themselves. 

In reality, fuel for codependents is everywhere. It can be in their morning coffee or in their pill-cabinet; in the workout room or the bedroom. Codependency can hide under the guise of charity and counsel. It can manifest itself through the quest for validation or the reliance on other peoples' and complements and kind words. Some codependents will even flirt for fun in a pathetic attempt to feel empowered. Albeit an illusion, these seductive swindlers yearn to fill in the multiple holes of their self-image by feeling important and desired.

With the removal of these habits and techniques, codependents may break down. Perhaps they cannot be alone with their own thoughts or live with the insecurities that require outside assistance.

While healthy practices - such as trust, friendship, and advice - do exist, we must establish a strong foundation for ourselves and by ourselves. The tools, programs, and people around us are meant to assist, enhance, and cultivate our already unified personalities not “make our lives”. To rely on other people, places, or things to drive us - or worse - make us feel whole, safe, and happy is codependency and will not last. Once those things are gone, everything that we have worked on - under false security - will disappear.

Jack never made it out of the desert. He died not of malnutrition or the sting of a scorpion, but insanity. Unable to cope without his music, cigarettes, and girlfriend (with whom he argued with at the café), Jack felt powerless. He was empty, alone, and incompetent. He was nothing.

Take responsibility of your own emotions and don't rely on others for your stability and well-being. Establish a firm foundation for yourself so you can generate those feelings naturally and carry them with you wherever you go.

For the Opinionated, Non-Conformist:

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

There is a certain comfort in not caring. It's so easy to brush things off with an “EH”. It's so easy to nonchalantly let life and its issues pass by and not even check the rear-view mirror. It's too easy.

For decades, I fought a dreaded battle against lethargy. Like a fat, complacent cat not wanting to be roused from its slumber, I was apathetical; unmoved by the multitude of personalities, ideas, global issues, and injustices that surrounded me. In short, I didn't give a shit about anything.

I shied away from it all. Perhaps it was fear of making the leap from the objective to the subjective or simply a depressive indifference I faced. But I knew I wanted to be sophisticated and outspoken to voice my opinion and individuality. Stifling my inner-voice meant being trampled by those who piped up the loudest or influenced by those who spoke boldly and with confidence and conviction.

We live in societies separated by political and religious affiliation but I always doubted that everyone miraculously fell into one category or another. So many people couldn't possibly agree on one thing. I didn't want to feel pressured. I hated feeling obligated to walk down the avenues of RIGHT or LEFT or conform and join a team in the political arena. And I absolutely abhorred dogma. Isn't the world big enough to house new ideas?

But conformity is a recurrent theme in the blueprint of nature. For example, the molecules in water droplets pool together in what is known as cohesion: 

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Some vines and other vegetation weave themselves through other plants in an attempt to gain more light and secure survival:

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography

Fire, musical synchronization, clouds, even the “slow-clap” are all examples of forces that will eventually find order, symmetry, and harmony.

So too, regarding human nature, many choose to conform to conventional ways of thinking and succumb to the force of gravity that pulls us downward when we try and ascend to new heights of intellectual freedom.

When you break nature – the inertia of the status quo - you create a new reality and are the narrator of a novelty. YES, the world IS big enough to house new ideas! But If we don't express our opinions - or at least voice an excerpt from our stream of consciousness - we can feel insignificant and miss an opportunity to gain wisdom by bouncing ideas off one another. If we conform to “the norm” we can disregard, or worse, suppress our individuality.

Granted, unity is important but if it is an excuse to not think for oneself – to be lethargic and not have an opinion – it is useless.

Opinions come from interpretation which is the result of our individual life experiences. To voice a thought or idea is the epitome of creating from uniqueness. It is our brain-child that should be loved and cultivated to maturity. One day, it can even be an influential game-changer in universal ideology, thus continuing the saga of progressive thought in our dynamic human existence.

Don't settle for second best. Think for yourself and stick out from the rest.

*****SELECTED SPARKS*****

25 Sparks of Inspiration for Today and Everyday:

1) You are already GREAT. You are only getting GREATER.

2) Opposition is inevitable. If not internally, it will come externally.

3) Be wary of what you take seriously. It can either be your greatest success or your biggest failure.

4) Chances are, you already know what needs to be done.

5) Anxiety is neutral. It can either drive you to success or insanity.

6) Life is a series of sensations.

7) In life, you should give twice as much as you take - except for knowledge.

8) Sometimes, it just takes some time.

9) Don't be ashamed of your childhood conditioning - learn from it.

10) Everything is perfect. The Universe may just be realigning you into harmony.

11) Never be afraid to learn from a child. Their honesty and simplicity is invaluable.

12) Know when to say NO.

13) Don't take anything personally. 

14) Take everything in stride. And don't be afraid to yield. 

15) Don't focus on first impressions. Look for lasting impressions.

16) No drug can produce a greater feeling than love and hard work. Ironically, they are one and the same.

17) Turn your desires into goals and keep your goals on your mind at all times.

18) Don't make assumptions. Communicate.

19) Never miss an opportunity as lame as it may be. 

20) First THINK. Then think POSITIVE.

21) Emotions are our greatest resource. 

22) Live as if all your dreams have already come true.

23) Work with the tools you have picked up in life and build something for yourself.

24) If you think in terms of change, new opportunities will arise.

25) We are all given the gift of time. What will you do with yours?

Have a great day! :D