*****SELECTED SPARKS*****

25 Sparks of Inspiration for Today and Everyday:

1) You are already GREAT. You are only getting GREATER.

2) Opposition is inevitable. If not internally, it will come externally.

3) Be wary of what you take seriously. It can either be your greatest success or your biggest failure.

4) Chances are, you already know what needs to be done.

5) Anxiety is neutral. It can either drive you to success or insanity.

6) Life is a series of sensations.

7) In life, you should give twice as much as you take - except for knowledge.

8) Sometimes, it just takes some time.

9) Don't be ashamed of your childhood conditioning - learn from it.

10) Everything is perfect. The Universe may just be realigning you into harmony.

11) Never be afraid to learn from a child. Their honesty and simplicity is invaluable.

12) Know when to say NO.

13) Don't take anything personally. 

14) Take everything in stride. And don't be afraid to yield. 

15) Don't focus on first impressions. Look for lasting impressions.

16) No drug can produce a greater feeling than love and hard work. Ironically, they are one and the same.

17) Turn your desires into goals and keep your goals on your mind at all times.

18) Don't make assumptions. Communicate.

19) Never miss an opportunity as lame as it may be. 

20) First THINK. Then think POSITIVE.

21) Emotions are our greatest resource. 

22) Live as if all your dreams have already come true.

23) Work with the tools you have picked up in life and build something for yourself.

24) If you think in terms of change, new opportunities will arise.

25) We are all given the gift of time. What will you do with yours?

Have a great day! :D

Knowing When to Say NO:

"A 'NO' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'YES' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
-Mahatma Gandhi 

We all know those people. The ones who are so kind to others that they neglect their own needs. The agreeable ones who passively shy away from opinions, not wanting to dance on anyone's toes.The sycophantic, brown-nosing, "doormats" whose kindness is mistaken for weakness and is frequently taken advantage of. The ones who are sweet enough to say yes but not strong enough to say no.

In a perverse way it seems admirable. Kindness makes the world go 'round and the gift of giving is a lofty and noble trait worthy of praise and applause. But if left unchecked, seemingly positive actions can actually be detrimental and irresponsible. Maybe even too nice, these do-gooders can quickly slip into resentfulness if they don't find a balance.  

The truth is we all have an internal world. We live with our own thoughts, desires, responsibilities, and troubles. Therefore, we are responsible for ourselves and our wellbeing. Our own priorities come first. It would be foolish, for example, to try and give counsel to others if you have not yet achieved mental health or for a country to give large sums of foreign aid if their own citizens need assistance.       

Narcissistic or egocentric? Negative. It's called self-advocacy. We need to be assertive and forthcoming because - the harsh reality is - in real life, other people may not be as generous and helping as we are to them. While it may have negative connotations, a self-advocate knows that in today's cutthroat and highly competitive world every individual needs to look after themselves and take life into their own hands. When put into perspective, this individualistic approach is healthy and responsible and highlights how special kindness and generosity truly are.  

It's so easy to love a stranger. But If you really want to love humanity, first love YOURSELF. Then find it in your heart to love your family, friends, classmates, co-workers, community members, and so on. First love, clean-up, care for, and fix your internal world before you set out on the journey to save the planet. Focus on yourself, then pan out to others.

The knowledge is elementary but in practice it may be challenging, especially when emotions are involved. For caregivers, philanthropists, teachers, parents, friends, lovers, and countless others, the idea of unbalanced giving and generosity can be horrific. Codependency can be maddening and caving to the pressure of theatric cries and pleading can be embarrassing and frustrating. While everything is relative, trusting your instincts and confidently making a judgement call can help you properly provide for those in need and subsequently save your sanity. As the Chinese proverb goes: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." 

One of the niceties of being nice is knowing when and how to exercise kindness. When generosity, sycophancy, and submissiveness become routine it can lead to a lifestyle of pressure, expectations, and codependency.

A YES MAN, IF UNABLE TO SAY NO, IS NOT A FREE MAN. Don't fall into a trap. Find an equilibrium and GIVE it all you got.

"The oldest and shortest words - 'yes' and 'no' - are those which require the most thought."
-Pythagoras 

Sharing in the Joy of Others:

"Rastaman vibration, yeah! (Positive!)
That's what we got to give...
Positive vibration, yeah! (Positive!)
Got to have a good vibe!"

-Bob Marley, 'Positive Vibration' 

There is a woman that I work with, I'll call her Lisa, who is a supercharged human being. Like the Energizer Bunny, she is indefatigably bouncing around and is almost always bright as the sun. Lisa is an intense individual and is always on the move to do something. It's actually quite funny to see her in action.   

When I first met Lisa I was taken aback. I am too proud to admit that I was intimidated by her but I remember thinking “Whoa, this lady is intense!” You can either hop on board one of her projects or get out of the way because she will run you over like a freight train.

I was also more reserved when I originally met Lisa. It was my first day and I was in foreign territory and a bit nervous of my new responsibilities. But that soon changed after a brief (VERY FAST) dialogue with her. Facing her was like electric-shock therapy and her ambitious eyes burned like an angry sun. But after the small-talk I felt different. Jolted, I soon became more energetic, confident, and solution oriented.

How did this happen?

In my opinion, one of the most fascinating aspects of the human being is that we all have an electromagnetic frequency that we emit 24 hours a day.  This vibration (or "vibe" if you're really hip) can be positive or negative, strong or weak - even coherent or otherwise - but never neutral. Life is  dynamic and constantly in motion. Rarely is anything static, especially when it pertains to the body and mind. We literally radiate energy on a consistent basis. Depending on the receptivity or social prowess of those around us, our own frequency can be picked up on by others. In the case of my conversation with Lisa, her electromagnetic field and my receptivity, influenced me for the better. 

(This is not psychic or spiritual phenomenon - it's science. Where New-Age and pseudoscientific thought come in is the belief that that our vibrations and frequencies directly affect the things around us. That our thoughts and intentions will influence the tone of our writing, flavor of our cooking, or outcome of our exercise. That our attitudes will play a role in how we are received by others and countless other aspects of our lives. Or that OUR atmospheres are directly correlated to the the actual atmosphere or that we really are ONE atmosphere. Whether or not you believe in that is your prerogative :D )

Influence and receptivity are the two key words. There is so much out there that we can be influenced by. Music, lights, the media, the weather, the general "mood", and numerous other people, places, and things can all have tremendous clout and these factors can really affect how we feel, think, speak, and act. By opening our minds to the vibrations, frequencies, and atmospheres around us, we can experience an immeasurable amount of happiness, triumph, excitement, love, bliss, and peace. 

Sound too good to be true? 

Picture for a moment what would happen if, one early Summer afternoon, you walked down the street of a High School. You hear cheering, applause, and chatter from inside and you realize that they are in the midst of a graduation ceremony. Would that make you smile or reflect on your own achievement? If not, continue walking down the street. You see a cute couple holding hands and laughing in the distance. As they pass you, in their own bubble of love, they both catch your eye and adoringly smile back as you walk by. Would you feel happy for them and wish them the best?

Or even a casual scenario that you stumble upon such as the one below:

Photo Credit: Sparks of David Photography 

Would you stop and add to the music, fun, and good vibes?

The answer could be no. Perhaps you have feelings of jealousy or maybe High School wasn't as fun for you as others, or perhaps you just aren't thinking along those lines. But it is an opportunity to share in the joy of others. These are simply triggers, a potential springboard to fresh thought or fond memory that you can indulge in. Other events and triggers - if you let them in - can offer positivity, optimism, hope, or faith if you have the proper attitude. They can even change your day!

The opposite is also true. Have you ever been in public and watched a parent chastise and physically discipline a child? Seen somebody cry? Listened to a talk-show-host go on a rant about public policy? These can all inhibit strong venomous emotions and feelings and if not properly regulated, can cause unnecessary harm to ourselves. 

Part of what makes us all unique is our ability to accept or reject these charges into our lives. We must be aware and differentiate when to filter out these influences and when to embrace their power. It is through this balance that we become true masters of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

Pick the right charge. Have a good vibe. :D

"Find someone who's turning

And you will come around"

-Neil Young, 'Don't Let it Bring You Down'

A New Year for Unity and Action:

“Inaction is cowardice… I do not see how any man can afford, for the sake of his nerves and his nap, to spare any action in which he can partake.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

And what a glorious New Years it was. As I stood with my friends, in the crowded streets of NYC, and as close to Times Square as humanly possible, I took it all in. The pretty lights and people, the fireworks, the excitement and anticipation for the new year. It was electric. The street corners were littered with law enforcement officers but to no avail. A potent odor of alcohol and marijuana smoke hung in the air and in an atmosphere not uncommon to NYC, the roads became lawless and licentious. Party hats in tow, hundreds of thousands of people flocked to the streets to celebrate the completion of yet another prosperous year and start of a new cycle.

Then, in the midst of it all, it struck me. Why all the hype? I hope to not sound like a buzz-kill but New Years is simply symbolic. We may flip the calendar to a new page but many of us still have tremendous responsibilities. We wake up and eat and work and study. There are planes to catch and bills to pay and diapers to change and papers to write. For many of us, our daily lives and their routines remained unaltered.

So what changes? Enter: The New Year’s resolution.

Resolutions for changes in our lives can be implemented and part of what makes New Years so grand is our ability to view the day as a new beginning; a fresh start and springboard into a better lifestyle.

Many people may have personal resolutions but I believe that that there is one thing that we can all universally strive for as a whole. Something that we cannot achieve ALONE, nor with our own determination and drive.

UNITY. To be united – not divided. To participate and not be alone. To find strength in numbers and grow as a group. To be a team player.

Joining a commUNITY, of any type, is an excellent opportUNITY to GET INVOLVED. Whether socializing with friends and family, joinng a team or club, brainstorming with co-workers, study partners, or boardmembers, active participation is the outlet that can bring out the best of our capabilities and actualize our talents. It gives us an opportUNITY to express our interests and get our voices heard. It puts us on the map – so to speak – and keeps us on our toes. It keeps us active, alert, and responsible while enabling us to achieve the human connection that we naturally strive for.

I believe there is a common misconception that by joining a commUNITY, unit, or board we compromise our individuality.  

In fact, it promotes our individuality. We can contribute our fresh output and creativity - through thought, speech, and deed – that directly defines the many facets of and intricate aspects of our personalities.

Ironically, what truly impedes the expression of our individuality is hiding it from the world. Much like what would happen if one were to plant a tree in a flower pot – if we isolate – we limit ourselves and our worth to the confines of our caves.

It is so much easier to sleep in, or keep quiet, or not move but it is selfish acts like keeping our abilities locked away in our comfort zones that prevent us from thriving on both personal and communal levels.

Fear, an inescapable illusion, is bred by ignorance and laziness and is many times self-imposed. Any attempt at more extroverted activity will naturally cause more opportunities to arise and greatly enhance the quality and quantity of our lives. The secret of living is not only giving, but sacrificing the self and cremating the comfort found in laziness and lethargy. We thrive through breaking the barriers that bind us to our beds. The more we disassociate ourselves from the law of gravity – which prevents us from raising to new heights – the merrier our lives become.

Sometimes, you just need an excuse to turn over a new leaf. That excuse can be this New Year but more importantly everyday you wake up in the morning. In reality, we can make a resolution everyday. Everyday is a new shot; another New Years so to speak. HAPPY NEW YEAR? NO. HAPPY NEW DAY!!

It’s a new year

A new month

A new week

A new day

A new hour

A new minute

A new second

A new moment

A new life

So get out of bed and get involved.

How 12-21-2012 Could Change Our Lives:

12-21-2012. This date has been on peoples’ minds recently and has naturally been getting much media exposure. The day is the reported last day of the ancient Mayan calendar and in combination with other Mayan beliefs, has led many to believe that something tremendous will affect us all. This cryptic day of ones and twos has led an innumerable amount of people around the world to believe that a series of transformative events – whether apocalyptic or Utopian – will occur in the form of celestial transitions, theological revelations, or a change in universal consciousness. Whatever the case may be, many are hopeful that something drastic will happen and it will undoubtedly be an exciting day.

I refuse to debunk it as a myth because, quiet frankly, anyone who claims to know what will or will not happen on a future date is arrogant and disillusioned. Uncertainty is a universal phenomenon and like many things in life, our future needs to just play out and requires patience. But there is overwhelming evidence that would lead one to think that this is just another pipe-dream that fuels the fires of hype and fright throughout the world.

I’m sure we all remember the Y2K scare in 2000 but that is just a drop of water in the ocean of end-of-days predictions and date setters. (I was originally going to write some examples but it became too exhaustive.) In short, there are over 250 historically documented doomsday dates, false messiahs and second comings, raptures, and miscalculations.

This outrageous number is embarrassing and it highlights how so many have grossly taken advantage of the natural human desire for liberation and connection. But many really believed their convictions. When they allowed their entire lives to revolve around one date – only to see it pass without monumental changes – they committed suicide or lost their sense of life’s purpose and direction. Much like what happens when you violently shake a snow-globe that has been untouched; their confident and settled beliefs soon turned chaotic and wreaked havoc on their minds.

     

Why are we so addicted to this phenomenon? It literally blows my mind and I can’t wrap my head around it.

     

Surely this is a universal infatuation. From the search for extra-terrestrial life on other planets, paranormal activity, and doomsday prophesies to conspiracy theories, espionage, and beautiful blood-sucking vampires that thrive at twilight, nothing gives life a surge of excitement quite like mystery, mysticism, folk-lore and the unknown. Could this just be another part of the trill of it all?

Perhaps, subconsciously, many of us want a revolution in our lives. Some drastic event that would change our daily routines, break down the barriers of human interaction and connection, and pave the way for something new. Something that would shake our realities and send humankind on a thrilling new tract.

      

Either way, I think 12-21-2012 and new years can be a great opportunity for us all. Like any day, it can be a bigger turning point in our lives than we could ever imagine.

    

Maybe we just need an opportunity to forgive or apologize or reconnect with a friend or family-member. Perhaps we need an excuse to be honest, ask questions, break fear, and take a stand. Maybe we need a reason to try something new, break a bad habit, or start that new exercise regimen. It could be that we’re waiting for the right moment to tell that special someone how we REALLY feel about them.

In that case, make today, the 21^st, or New Years THAT day. If you knew you were going to die soon what would you want to say or do? It’s the biggest motivation. Also, a New Years resolution is a perfect opportunity to start something new or finally get it done. So, take a healthy risk! It will change the course of your life and pave the way for new and exciting moments that have never been experienced before.

Sometimes, you just need an excuse.

And who knows, maybe our lives really will change on 12-21-2012… ;D

Hi, I'm Human: We're All in This Together

There is a longstanding philosophical dialogue about how we identify with ourselves and who we are. Most times, if you meet someone new they will tell you their name, profession, and where they are from. 

It's no wonder that many people identify themselves this way. This small talk gives others a glimpse into our lives -where we are coming from and where we are going - without divulging too much personal information. While some believe it is an ethical imperative to not solely identify people by what they do for a living, the aforementioned practices are an accepted form of social etiquette. 

But there is a fine line between formalities and fallacies. 

My experiences in the professional world have shown me that many people are living a facade. Yes, we all fake it at times and many of us are damn good actors. Sometimes, we have to be. But I think that some people need a reminder that we are all human. 

I was recently assigned an article for the magazine I write for that will be featured in an upcoming issue on influential women in the workforce. The article is a profile on a woman who works for a government organization called FEMA which has recently merged with the United States Department of Homeland Security. As I did some research to write the paper, I found myself rolling my eyes at some of the past professional positions she held: 

Applicant Services Manager for the Maryland National Processing Service Center

Disaster Assistance Employee for the Department of the Interior’s South Florida Ecosystem Restoration Task Force

Special Assistant to the Acting Deputy Director of the Inter-Agency National Disaster Housing Task Force 

“What does that even mean??” I asked myself rhetorically. 

After further research, I saw it all as a thought-out game. It was as if they are playing one big performance – like on Broadway - with acting and formalities. Characters that have funny names and hide behind masks and big words. It’s one big behemoth amount of business-like bull5#!7. 

Yes, I do understand the need for professionalism and intellectual formalities, and I mean no disrespect to the government agencies that provide for the people, but I try to find a balance so I don't get stuck playing "the game". 

We are emotional creatures. Show some life! Unfortunately, we live in a society where many people suppress there emotions because they think emotions are a sign of weakness. This is false and if used properly, our emotions can single-handedly be the greatest tool we can work with in our lives. 

Personally, I don’t think that we can afford to be too haughty. Many of the commodities that we enjoy in society are relatively new: the gadgets, the fashion, the media revolution, even basic liberties and forms of civility. Not too long ago women and blacks didn't have equal rights and in many places throughout the world they still don't. The terrors of the holocaust and other wars and genocides throughout the world can still be felt today and in parts of the world atrocious, barbaric, and simply unfair acts take place on a daily basis. The fact that I can type this up on a subway, sharing a train with women, Asians, Moslems, blacks, Europeans and countless others is nothing short of miraculous. 

I’m not minimizing our growth as a people but our history should put things into perspective.

 

Aside from the newfound glory we experience from our technological treasures and other freedoms, there are universal bonds that connect us all.

Many of us have experienced our fair share of teenage angst, love and loss, struggle and internal battle, pain and sensation, joy and laughter, self-doubt, and hard work. Uncertainty and the inability to predict the future is a universal phenomenon. Strangers can share a laugh. It’s part of the human experience – which we share. We all make mistakes. We are all somebody’s child. We have a heart in our chests! Why so serious? LIGHTEN UP.

There are 7 billion people in the world, yet we cannot even agree on how we all got here. Sure we may have managed to find work, meaning, love, and fun but we were all thrown into existence, many times having to figure it out by ourselves. Rarely do we stop and think that we are moving 1000 mph on earth (trip on that!) and that it comes full circle every 24 hours. We are small. Don't get-ego death but it is true.

As my good friend so eloquently put it:

"Everybody poops." 

So don't hesitate to let your guard down and truly connect with the people around you. We may have a lot more in common than you think.

Surely, we are all unique. But the people who truly understand their worth and are confident with who they REALLY are, don’t spend their energy playing pretend.

We are all part of the human race. Ideally, we can all find equilibrium and know when to put up our proverbial fences and when to let our guard down. How to not be too open and never be too closed. When to be professional and when to have personality.

Many thinkers have pleaded for the use of empathy and emotional intelligence in our interactions. These useful tools can strengthen ties that bind us together as emotional beings and pave the way for closer human connections that we all crave. 

We are all human. We are all growing. We are all in this thing together.

What are you thinking about?

The mind can be a very tricky thing. At times it can be funny - other times it’s no laughing matter. On a personal note, I know that I need to take a balanced approach when dealing with my thoughts. Whether trusting my instincts, entertaining memories, or analyzing my stream of consciousness, I’ve found that, at times, I need to yield and not take my thoughts too seriously.

To a certain degree, if many of us placed our minds under a microscope - judging them according to medical textbooks – we’d end up in the loony bin:

Having trouble concentrating? You must have ADD

Feeling down? Clinical depression

Changes in mood? Bipolar disorder

Have a change of attitude? Schizophrenia

Dark thoughts?  Psychopath

Don’t care? Sociopath

Like things orderly? OCD

You may also have anger management issues, social phobias, substance abuse issues, and autism… If you inspect your mind for flaws you will find what you are looking for. Obviously, for most people, this is foolishness. We may have extraneous thoughts and emotions but we’re not crazy! (Okay, mental illnesses do exist in some people but only a diagnosis from a licensed professional can determine that.)

From a psychological standpoint, it is not always wise to suppress one’s thoughts or muffle their "inner voice". I have learned from personal experience that if you constantly try to shut off your mind you will one day be successful. This can be a terrifying experience! When you finally want your identity back you will find that it's not so easy to start the motor again and this can lead to dire consequences that will be manifested in your personal, social, and work life.

Our minds can be both our best friend and worst enemy. There are so many factors that can affect our thought-processes and sometimes we may feel that our thoughts just aren’t ours. However, if we want to enjoy the benefits of positivity, clarity, understanding, creativity, depth, and social finesse, we must learn to cope with the negativity, fear, doubt, low self-esteem, and occasional fog we all experience from time to time.

But is it safe to turn down our thoughts or at least ignore them?

An influential mentor of mine once told me that on some days he's so plagued by negative thoughts that he has a "no thinking day". Obviously, he doesn't just shut down because as a father, teacher, and international self-help guru he has responsibilities. But when he knows what needs to be done, yet is faced with his own venomous thoughts, he puts his mind on the back burner and focuses on action.

"Sometimes, you need to stop thinking and just do it. Once you entertain negative thoughts you can lose confidence, increase doubt, and even convince yourself not to do what you know needs to be done," he said. “DON’T THINK - JUST DO.”

The opposite is also true. Sometimes, in life, I know exactly what needs to be said or done but I’m faced with a combination of fear and lethargy (the two go hand in hand.) In a way, laziness is the worst trait to have. It’s a curse because I may KNOW exactly what needs to be done but laziness will prevent me from doing so.

This is the phenomenon of opposition. Many times, if it doesn’t come from outside influences it will come from within. But when you need to act, you may just have to ignore the resistance. Many people have the ability to do many great things – it just requires work. At times, you just need to do what you need to do regardless of how you feel, what your fear is telling you, or what others say.

And remember:

When the mind says go and the body says no just remember who's in charge!

Sometimes, Life Hurts:

As I write this, I’m sitting in a small café by the bay in New York City. After the subway got stuck in a tunnel and sat idle for over 20 minutes, I got off and ran to the bus-stop where I intended to travel back home for the weekend. When I frantically reached the platform, huffing and puffing and with fire in my eyes, the ticket manager could barely look me in the face as he told me I had missed the bus by only a few minutes.

There is an old saying “when life gives you lemons - make lemonade”. I’ll be honest; I didn’t think that at the time. I petitioned for a new slogan “when life gives you lemons, squeeze them in the eye of the closest person next to you”. I was a bit bummed by the unavoidable blunder but I soon focused on maintaining a mature mindset. So I set out to make use of the plentiful free time I found myself with.  Thankfully, I can catch the next departing bus in only a couple of hours and for only a small fee.

As I settled in and collected myself, I had an insight. I think you can relate:

Sometimes, it hurts.

It hurts when you miss your bus

It hurts when you run in the wrong direction

It hurts when you get your hopes up only to have them shot down

It hurts when you get laughed at or ridiculed

It hurts when you don’t say or do something because you’re afraid

It hurts when you hurt others

It hurts when people don’t return your calls or emails

It hurts when you fail, slip up, or make a mistake

It hurts when there’s too much work to be done

It hurts when you can’t practice what you preach

It hurts when you’re late for something important

It hurts when you love someone who doesn’t care much for you

It hurts when you feel like a stranger

It hurts when you get chastised or yelled at

It hurts when you need to do something you don’t want to

It hurts when you lose control

It hurts when people don’t appreciate your hard work

It hurts when you care for somebody more than they care for themselves

It hurts when people just don’t get it

It hurts when you try to do something nice but it crumbles to the ground

It hurts when you get abused, cheated, or lied to

It hurts when you’re stuck

It hurts when you’re out of luck

It hurts when you forget to duck

It hurts when you just don’t give a

Sometimes, life hurts.

But it’s worth it to BE positive when things don’t work out because, quite frankly, the alternative can really suck and make the situation a lot worse. Focus on a positive solution and never lose HOPE. Make one more effort and don’t give in. It's a thoughtful and proactive decision, deserving of recognition and applause.

Although, sometimes, there is nothing that can be done and you must helplessly watch as things transpire before your eyes. Incompetence can be a terrible feeling but take the hit. Face it boldly and keep on truckin’. You will get through it and there are good times around the bend.

Pain is temporary – it will pass.

Sometimes, it just takes some time.

ENERGY, ANXIETY, & EXPRESSION:

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways”

-Sigmund Freud

Basic physics teaches us that we cannot destroy energy. But what is energy? Scientific technicalities aside, (and for the sake of this article) energy is potential for human action. Force, drive, vitality; call it as you wish, but since you can’t destroy energy it can only be transformed or exerted into activity.

Traditionally, the term ANXIETY is defined as the feeling of worry, fear, dread, or uneasiness. I’m not a medical authority but I disagree. Anxiety is energy. Surely, once someone entertains their negative thoughts the energy is used to fuel bad feelings, but the charge itself isn’t harmful. Energy is not good or bad - it’s neutral. It is only when the charge is directed that it takes on a constructive or destructive purpose.

One of the most important techniques to develop in life is the ability to express oneself. Without expression, our thoughts, feelings, and emotions - all energy - don’t have an escape route and are trapped in the body. Human energy needs expression – to air out, if you will. If we try to suppress our energy chances are it will manifest itself somehow in some other area of our lives. And it is how this energy is expressed that will determine if the action is constructive or destructive.

If our body’s energy is not properly expressed it could have a detrimental affect on our emotional and physical wellbeing. If we don’t have the proper positive attitude, the energy will only fuel the opposite negative side of us. Instead of using our energies in the pursuit of happiness, knowledge, creativity, or to give, the force will feed brooding, fear, shame, and low self-esteem. These consequences will not only harm the mind but also the body. Negativity is known to zap the body’s energy and can make one feel lousy, sluggish, weak, and unmotivated. This is why many people sleep when they are depressed.

Caffeine, the most commonly used drug in the world, is well known for its stimulant effect. Somewhat of an illusion, caffeine gives people MORE energy and if this extra boost isn’t channeled properly the affects can be even more harmful. If your body is tense when you drink your morning coffee you may be in for a bad day. If your over-stimulated blood is not flowing freely through relaxed muscles it can cause tension, discomfort, irritability, and heart rhythm problems. This usually puts the person in a negative mindset and those bad thoughts will spiral down faster, stronger, and scarier. If this hyper-negativity isn’t stopped soon the extra energy may manifest itself in anger, destructive and irrational behavior, or sexual frustration. Since eating and swallowing increase the heart rate, your body will trick you into hunger and you may want to gorge yourself with food because the extra energy has nowhere to go and it wants out.

Fortunately, for many, there is a cure for this downward spiral. Positive thinking, relaxation, stretching, and light cardio can get the blood flowing freely. Personally, I do yoga throughout the day to relax and stay loose and I know others who hum, sing, dance, laugh, or meditate when they are feeling uncomfortably wired or anxious.

A not-so-close friend of mine once took a decent amount of the drug MDMA for “recreational use”. I ran into him about an hour later and he was clenching, grinding his teeth, and in a dramatic fit as he bemoaned how bad his life was. “My life sucks, I’m so depressed, I’m such a crack-head, My mother doesn’t love me…” He looked terrible. I immediately recognized what was happening. I ran over to him, sat him down, massaged his back and shoulders, and told him to get a grip. No more than a minute later he was glowing with bliss and radiating love and happiness! Clearly, he was so tense that the drug only made him more uncomfortable as he continued rolling down a dark road. He wouldn’t stop thanking me...

(This was to prove a point and wasn’t meant to offer a failsafe way to use narcotics. Drugs are bad. M’kay?)

Whether or not you use drugs (legal or illegal) our bodies need to express the energy that is running through our veins. Most importantly, the energy that comes from our minds – like from memories, feelings, and desires – must also be expressed in some form or another.

There are an innumerable amount of things that can be bugging us out in life: Our past, present, or future, friends and family, school, career, money, problems with our Spirituality and personal philosophy, depression, fear, war, love or lack of love, feelings of inadequacy, social issues, guilt, drama, addiction, boredom, facial acne, lack of direction, health issues, pain and past trauma, bereavement, not living up to our own expectations, obesity or eating disorders, resentment, troubles with the law, male pattern baldness, self mutilation, lack of justice, peer-pressure, hormones… The list goes on and on. (I purposely excluded “stress” because it is simply potential energy.)

Whether or not our troubles can be immediately fixed, they need to be EXPRESSED! We cannot allow them to swim around our psyches and zap up our ENERGY! We owe it to ourselves to free our minds from their constant bombardment and intrusion into our daily (and nightly) lives.

For as many problems that exist there are ways to express them. Whether using thought, speech, or action there is a way. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable speaking to a friend, family member, spouse, or therapist? So speak to yourself or your Higher Power or write it down. Can’t find the words? Hum, sing, paint it in a picture, or create music, food, or whatever from the emotions that you feel. Exercise, dance or go crazy. Boogie - woogie it out of you. Cry if you have to.  Personally, I enjoy writing but there have been times where I filled up whole stacks of papers with my junk and then burned them in a fire. Not everything we think has to be said and not everything we write needs to be published. Sometimes, things are private or scary or humiliating or gross. But we can still get it out of our mind’s eye without exposing the secrets of our Soul to society.

When we are painfully honest with ourselves and express  our deepest and darkest emotions, we can attain higher levels of our personality that were previously inaccessible. We can gain tremendous personal clarity and literally free up space in our brains for novel thoughts and ideas.

And if you’re really cool, you can catch yourself in a high-octane negative moment and reverse the charge by thinking, speaking, or acting positive with determination. The momentum will still be there and you can hit the ground running in a more positive direction. You can turn darkness into light and have it guide you through a great life.

Today is a New Day:

"But this is not my time to go

Grace has brought us another day

But if tomorrow were to bring my turn

What would I leave unsaid?

What would I leave undone?

What would I leave behind?"

 - String Cheese Incident 'SIRENS' 

Today is a new day with new opportunities:

To think

To speak

To act

To create

To exercise

To laugh

To be free

To be me

To believe in myself

To love myself

To care for myself

To trust myself

To introduce myself to myself

To have faith

To give thanks

To connect with friends and family

To connect with a community, a unit

To develop a lifestyle

To achieve or at least pursue my goals

To try new things

To express myself

To be happy and experience pleasure

To grow and feel good in the process

To love - to hope

To hope to love

To see what I am capable of 

To pursue knowledge, clarity, and understanding

To better myself

To face reality

To face my fears

To break barriers

To love - to give

To give to love

To contribute in conversation

To pray

To meditate

To break bad habits

To make good habits

To use my imagination

To reach out 

To get involved

To be a leader

To change the world

To realize who I am

To recognize who I am not

To identify with who I want to become

To find rhythm

To ask

To listen

To learn

To be aware 

To pursue my dreams, goals, and ambitions

To be responsible

To be positive

To give it one more shot

To make one more effort

To live life 

TODAY

Have a great day :D

The Illusion of Age:

Age is a number that represents the amount of time someone has spent in this world. It in no way represents how much knowledge or experience one has gained during that period. Age does not equal capability.

I don't feel my age. I never have. Some-days I feel like I'm 35. Other days I feel as if I'm 95. On occasion, I feel 15 years old but never do I feel my age.

Awhile ago, in conversation, my mother told me something enlightening:

"Age is just a mindset," she said.

Truer words have never been spoken! Throughout the world there are men and women in their old age that run marathons, play with their grandchildren, and pretend to be young. They never stop embracing life. My friend’s 85 year old grandfather works daily, travels the world, and plays golf – he’s still got it.

The opposite is also true. I know teenagers and young adults that are as unproductive and incompetent as paralyzed patients in a nursing home, while others are innovators (think: Facebook) or on their way to become tomorrow's world leaders. Anthony Difruscia, who I recently interviewed for the magazine I write for, was elected Massachusetts State Representative at the young age of 26! Age is just a glorified detail of life that holds little to no importance unless you’re trying to buy alcohol or collect social security checks.

It's important to recognize that we have the power of choice. We may not be in control of all aspects of our lives but we can certainly choose how we live with them. By turning one’s desires into goals and actively pursuing their dreams, anyone can thrive in life regardless of age. Attitude is the key and nothing impedes growth more than thinking “I am still a child”.

So, what separates the men from the boys?

WISDOM.

Keeping aware, learning from history's mistakes, and at least thinking about the advice of those who care about us can actually give us the experience without ever going through the motions. It streamlines the growth process, builds character, and can thwart avoidable setbacks in life.

So, keep an open mind and learn from everyone and everything. Even if what you learn is what NOT to do, that's half the battle…

Never hesitate to learn from a child. Sometimes their honesty and simplicity is what we really need in our lives.

After all, “AGE IS JUST A MINDSET”

HIGH expectations -- LOW self esteem

“When you want more than you have

You think you need

And when you think more than you want

Your thoughts begin to bleed…

…Find a bigger place

‘cos when you have more than you think

You need more space…”

-Eddie Vedder’s ‘’Society’’

A mentor of mine relayed to me an insight from his brother, a prominent psychiatrist. He told me of a unique type of low self-esteem that is masked by over-achievement.

When one is too ambitious, yet does not live up to their own expectations, they feel deflated.

This can be tricky because we live in an ambitious society. Our world is amplified, fast paced, and in constant motion. We are living in the most advanced period in history. Along with this honor, privilege, and responsibility come the demands, expectations and pressures of keeping up with the “norm”. Everyone loves a challenge but it requires honesty, a constant balance, and the ability to yield in this supercharged society we all dwell in. While we should never UNDERESTIMATE ourselves, we cannot OVERESTIMATE ourselves either.

Similarly, another snafu can send us spiraling down the slippery slope of low self esteem: The Control Freak. If we expect to be in control of every aspect of our lives we will be harshly reminded that it is not so and if we set the bar unrealistically high we will feel unworthy due to our incompetence.

Chances are if you are ambitious you will achieve a lot in life. After all, it’s a great mindset to have! But it may not come on our terms or in our time-frames. In this fast paced society, we want results and we want them quickly but we may be jumping the gun. As crazy as it sounds we may not be able to handle our own dreams. That is the beauty of growth – it sticks. It would be foolish to run a marathon without training properly or attempt to ace a test without studying. One does not simply BECOME president of the United States (although it sure seems like it sometimes!). One may have the potential but it requires more to transform qualifications into actuality. To turn our dreams into reality.

In our “All or Nothing” society, it is important to remember that every advancement made, in any area of life, builds our capacity for greater things. Perhaps it’s building stamina, endurance, or experience and is turning you into a more capable man or woman. Maybe it’s emotional weightlifting that is opening new channels within your psyche and personality. Think of it as a chance to prove that you can do it.

Surely, this is all hypothesis and theory and like many things in life, cannot be validated. We can’t fully understand life but we can try. It all starts by customizing our own lives with the tips, tricks, tools and techniques that we all pick up along the way.

HAVE A GREAT LIFE! :D

Debauchery and the Pursuit of Pleasure:

Debauchery is defined as an extreme form of immorality and an unbalanced form of indulgence in things that give person sensual pleasure. Some examples include: Gluttonous gorging of food, excessive sexual activity and physical companionship, extreme laziness and over-sleeping, drugs and alcohol, risky thrills including gambling, and of course, emotion addiction. In essence, debauchery is undoubtedly pleasurable. As stated above, it’s sensational! But at what cost?

Epicurus (341-270 B.C.)  the Greek philosopher writes: "No pleasure is a bad thing in itself, but the things which produce certain pleasures entail disturbances many times greater than the pleasures themselves."

Too much food can make one lazy and lethargic. Certain substances can leave the user slow and foggy.  Gambling can leave you broke (or in debt) or lead to other bad behavior. Debauchery can leave you lethargic, angry, empty, lonely, hazy, broke, diseased, incarcerated, or all of the above. Shooting heroin sure looks like it would feel fantastic! But not without the side affects that would infiltrate your life, family, future, society, and the world at large. So, in short, pleasure is not a BAD thing. Pleasure is just that. It’s pleasurable. But it may not be worth it.

Many forms of debauchery have a common theme – they are all easy, comfortable, and short lived. But not all lasting pleasure is easy or comfortable.

Other, more valuable types of pleasure are longer lasting and worked for. For example, if you give your time and listen to someone who is emotionally distraught or help the old lady cross the street or provide for the needy to buy food, you are creating something everlasting. By giving, we not only feel good once but are creating memories that can be accessed time and time again and can continuously make us feel good.

Other types of long term pleasure can be an investment. Loving and building human connections, consumption of knowledge, creativity, personal development… these are all things that progress and grow with time and effort. Breaking barriers, trying new things, and stepping out of our comfort zones give our lives an element of mystery, excitement, and surprise. This sharply contrasts with the almost mundane and predictable outcomes of debauchery.

Another, more specific type of investment for long term pleasure is facing our demons and tackling issues that are so much easier to ignore than take care of. By patching up our past - as daunting of a task as it may be - we can attain levels of our personality that were previously inaccessible. In short, make PEACE with your PAST so it doesn’t screw up your PRESENT.

No vice, object, or drug can produce a greater feeling than that of love and hard work. Ironically, they are one and the same…

Just because it’s easy it doesn’t mean that it’s worthwhile. Real human growth comes from breaking routine, taking risks, and blasting past the fear of failure and rejection. Life is change. But there is a big difference between just being ALIVE and really LIVING. Let’s all make the investment.

It's been a pleasure :D